Chasing Smoke

This story was shared with us by Jadon Krapf, a Crew Leader with Southwest Conservation Corps’ Veterans Fire Corps program in 2021. 

Why did I become a Wildland Firefighter at the age of 30? Well…

Two years ago, I decided to shed old habits, old ways of thinking, behaving, and ultimately, living. After seven years of being a Veteran, I finally met my shadow. I’ve met it before, but this time, I understood it.⠀

As a civilian, I began to sink, finding myself surrounded by darkness, stuck in a looping thought pattern of negativity. I had lost my sense of purpose. Without purpose, my sense of direction soon began to fade into a broken compass.

I’d lie down to sleep, empty of fulfillment, tossing and turning, waiting for the new path to reveal itself. One evening, everything I knew, began to crumble. Disintegrating before me, was my old life. I felt myself dissolving, with no inclination to resist. Over the next 3 months, I sold every possession that took up space in my physical environment. I felt lighter, new, I was fresh off the shelf. Except, I had no plan.⠀

I built a platform bed under the shell of my truck, and only packed items that served a purpose. I punched the gas, and it didn’t take long before my route was cut off due to a wildfire, one that came to be known as the largest fire in Colorado’s history, the Cameron Peak Fire. I altered my course, found a campsite, and stared at the sunset. I remember lying on my back, listening to the birds, feeling the wind and smelling smoke in the air. I was exactly where I belong.⠀

I would go on to live like this for 9 months. One night in Utah, I thought back to the beginning, about the wildfire that shifted my course so early on, and it sunk in. I discovered my new purpose. To protect my newfound love, nature. My journey ended the next morning.⠀

What I learned, is that lessons surround us each day, but we must choose to perceive them as such. Taking action, surrendering to that yearning for something new, brought me back to a fulfilling life. One of camaraderie, sacrifice, and hard work for shit wage. Couldn’t be happier.⠀

Your shadow has much to teach you—so listen. Meet your demons at the gate, and walk through, to the unknown and uncharted.

Let’s chase some smoke!

Jadon recently finished a season with the Pagosa Springs Ranger District, protecting the San Juan National Forest. You can follow along on his journey via @ja__don on Instagram. 

Click here to learn more about our Veterans programs and view open positions today!